mankbewoks Posted October 5, 2021 Posted October 5, 2021 (edited) Edwin_Chelmist Edwin Chelmist was born on September 27, 2004 in East Los Santos, he is the only child of his parents named Jayden Chelmist and Evelyn Wingin they live in Poverty, his father is a laborer and his mother is a housemaid in a rich man's house. Many years living now edwin is 8 years old he goes to school in the area around his house, unlike children usually he even pulls out of school because he wants to play with his friends at home. When he wants to leave school again because he wants to play with his friends were caught with his father who was on his way to work, quickly Edwin Chelmist ran fast so as not to be caught by his father, some later he managed to escape from his father's pursuit and he arrived at his playground with friends, late afternoon Edwin Chelmist started walking towards the house. ''And what happened''. How shocked Edwin Chelmist saw he messy house, he walked slowly into he house he saw a lot of blood dripping on the walls of he house, and he saw that he parents had been shot dead in the chest and stomach and at that time he cried as loud as he could. Time passed until Edwin was 15 years old now he lives with his uncle named Kenrich Hampton his uncle is a thug in the Ganton area, at his uncle's house. Edwin is always educated hard by his uncle because his uncle has a very strong and authoritative stance he is very feared by the residents around Ganton they are very reluctant to deal with him. One day Edwin was ordered to slaughter a family with the lure of money without thinking he walked towards the house that had been ordered by someone who told him to slaughter the family. Instantly the family has been slaughtered not a single person left. Without Edwin knowing it was the family who slaughtered his parents who were at home. Until now Edwin Chelmist is still living in the Ganton area. Questions Character Story Pertama: Ya Durasi bermain di JG:RP: Kurang dari 1 bulan URL Namechange: Account UCP yang saya miliki:mankbewoks Account Forum yang saya miliki: mankbewoks Saya mankbewoks selaku pemilik account UCP mankbewoks bersedia jika Character saya yang disebut di atas (Edwin_Chelmist) dibanned permanent jika character story yang saya buat di atas berupa plagiat dari story milik orang lain. Edited October 6, 2021 by mankbewoks Fix
$Lionheart$ Posted October 5, 2021 Posted October 5, 2021 Halo saya di sini akan mengoreksi hasil character stories kamu, untuk itu tolong jawab pertanyaan di bawah ini terlebih dahulu: Foto harus di atas sebelum cerita di mulai pada posisi tengah. Ukuran foto jangan terlalu besar, apakah sudah sesuai? Character story minimal harus memiliki 300 kata yang dipecah menjadi minimal 3 paragraph. Udah sesuai belum? klik : Penghitung Kata Kamu buat Character Story ini di warnet apa di rumah? @mankbewoks
mankbewoks Posted October 5, 2021 Author Posted October 5, 2021 2 jam yang lalu, resetemail said: Halo saya di sini akan mengoreksi hasil character stories kamu, untuk itu tolong jawab pertanyaan di bawah ini terlebih dahulu: Foto harus di atas sebelum cerita di mulai pada posisi tengah. Ukuran foto jangan terlalu besar, apakah sudah sesuai? Character story minimal harus memiliki 300 kata yang dipecah menjadi minimal 3 paragraph. Udah sesuai belum? klik : Penghitung Kata Kamu buat Character Story ini di warnet apa di rumah? @mankbewoks 1. sesuai 2. sesuai 3. rumah
$Lionheart$ Posted October 5, 2021 Posted October 5, 2021 Edit Character Story kamu dan tambahkan nama UCP dan nama forum kamu. Account UCP yang saya miliki: Tidak ada Account Forum yang saya miliki: Selain itu perbaiki juga kesalahan berikut: 1. Edwin Chelmist ini karakter laki-laki, kenapa pakai kata she/her? periksa paragraf kedua dan perhatikan kesalahan berikut: When she wanted to leave school again because she wanted to play with his children ((Edwin mau main sama anaknya?)) were caught with his father who was on his way to work, quickly Edwin Chelmist ran fast so as not to be caught by his father, some later he managed to escape from his father's pursuit and he arrived at his playground with his children, late afternoon Edwin Chelmist started walking towards the house. ''And what happened''. How shocked Edwin Chelmist saw her messy house, she walked slowly into her house she saw a lot of blood dripping on the walls of her house, and she saw that her parents had been shot dead in the chest and stomach and at that time she cried as loud as she could. 2. Setelah tanda titik (.) gunakan huruf awalan kapital @mankbewoks
mankbewoks Posted October 5, 2021 Author Posted October 5, 2021 5 jam yang lalu, resetemail said: Edit Character Story kamu dan tambahkan nama UCP dan nama forum kamu. Account UCP yang saya miliki: Tidak ada Account Forum yang saya miliki: Selain itu perbaiki juga kesalahan berikut: 1. Edwin Chelmist ini karakter laki-laki, kenapa pakai kata she/her? periksa paragraf kedua dan perhatikan kesalahan berikut: 2. Setelah tanda titik (.) gunakan huruf awalan kapital @mankbewoks Edited, maaf min
$Lionheart$ Posted October 5, 2021 Posted October 5, 2021 Masih ada kata 'her' itu, kamu pencet ctrl + f aja terus masukin keywordnya. @mankbewoks
mankbewoks Posted October 6, 2021 Author Posted October 6, 2021 7 jam yang lalu, resetemail said: Masih ada kata 'her' itu, kamu pencet ctrl + f aja terus masukin keywordnya. @mankbewoks sudah min maaf
$Lionheart$ Posted October 6, 2021 Posted October 6, 2021 Jogjagamers Reality Project Helper Team Character Story Dear @mankbewoks, I am writing to you in regards of your recently submitted character story, we have reviewed your character story and, as a result, have come to the decision to ACCEPT your request. Please read this guide to activate your character story In-Game via our UCP Website. We hope that you may use this character story to further develop your character. Sincerely,@resetemail JG:RP Helper Team
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