keibravo18 Posted September 28, 2021 Posted September 28, 2021 (edited) Ivan_Kalasnikov His name was Ivan Kalasnikov the Russian Federation Vyshibala or we can call it a bouncer, he's the younger brother of Vladimir who at that time was very famous for his actions. he is 22 years old and his older brother is 25 years old. They live in the Donetsk area near the Black Sea. Ivan's family seems not good, Ivan's father is Yuri Ivanovich is a gambler and also a drunkard and his mother is Elena Krasnovskaya a friendly Housewife, Ivan's father is a veteran of the Soviet army during the Cold War Era. but since his father retired from the Soviet army on 1991 along with the collapse of the Soviet State and was replaced by the Russian Federation, That's where the household between them fell apart, Ivan's father died in 15/09 2001 from being shot in a bar when he lost a gamble, and his mother was raped to death in 21/03 2002 by her husband's gambling partners because they could not pay the debt. Vladimir and Ivan were devastated by what was done by his father's gambling partner and even Ivan wanted revenge, but it was restrained by Vladimir that we had to wait for time. Ivan and Vladimir went to the city Saint Petersburg to meet Vladimir's acquaintances, Vladimir also entrusts Ivan to his acquaintance because Vladimir will go abroad to do his job as before. While Ivan he joined the Spetnaz army in 2007 that is an elite Russian army, but Ivan did not stay long, in 2014 he left his Spetnaz army and went back to his acquaintances. After he left the army he went looking for his father's comrade who killed his father also raped his mother, he found him when he went to his former residence, he visited the bar his father used to frequent. Not long ago he shot his father's partner as well as his men and then went to his acquaintance's place first. Ivan was unemployed and did not have a job while living at his acquaintance Vladimir's place, but not long after his acquaintance Vladimir offered him a job, Namely as a Mafia, His acquaintance also told Ivan that Vladimir had been working as a Mafia abroad. Ivan did not know that his older brother had been a mafia, But Ivan also accepted his acquaintance's job offer. He was sent abroad to the same place as Vladimir did by his acquaintances. He no longer cares about everything that he do, Because he has now started a new life as a Mafia, And he is Ivan Kalasnikov. Questions Character Story Pertama: Yes Durasi bermain di JG:RP: Kurang dari 1 bulan URL Namechange: Account UCP yang saya miliki: satu hanya kei123 (silahkan banned/enggak juga boleh) Account Forum yang saya miliki: satu hanya Hauptman_Kai yaitu yang ucp kei123 (boleh dibanned/enggak gak apa apa) Saya keibravo18 selaku pemilik account UCP keibravo18 bersedia jika Character saya yang disebut di atas (Ivan_Kalasnikov) dibanned permanent jika character story yang saya buat di atas berupa plagiat dari story milik orang lain. Edited October 1, 2021 by keibravo18 1
$SilumanUlar$ Posted September 28, 2021 Posted September 28, 2021 Halo, Sebelum saya respon Character Story kamu, dimohon untuk jawab pertanyaan dibawah ini dengan jujur: Berapa level karakter kamu saat ini? Apakah UCP kamu sudah sinkron/sesuai ? agar proses Character Story bisa berjalan lancar Apakah kamu mempunyai UCP lebih dari satu? Dipastikan kamu memahami peraturan sebelum membuat Character Story, Apakah sudah membacanya? Bersediakah kamu di banned account permanent jika kamu ketahuan Copy-Paste Character Story? Jelaskan dengan jujur, UCP milik siapa yang ada di bawah ini? Spoiler alejandro_higuain kei123 akangnoel
keibravo18 Posted September 29, 2021 Author Posted September 29, 2021 On 9/28/2021 at 1:46 PM, GulaGula said: Berapa level karakter kamu saat ini? level 3 Apakah UCP kamu sudah sinkron/sesuai ? agar proses Character Story bisa berjalan lancar? Sudah sinkron dan jelas juga lancar Apakah kamu mempunyai UCP lebih dari satu? punya satu namun sudah tidak aktif Dipastikan kamu memahami peraturan sebelum membuat Character Story, Apakah sudah membacanya? iya sudah saya baca dengan teliti Bersediakah kamu di banned account permanent jika kamu ketahuan Copy-Paste Character Story? Saya bersedia di banned jika account saya mengcopy character story Jelaskan dengan jujur, UCP milik siapa yang ada di bawah ini? yang kei123 itu milik saya yang dulu cuman saya tidak memakai nya lagi
$SilumanUlar$ Posted September 30, 2021 Posted September 30, 2021 Jogjagamers Reality Project Helper Team Character Story Dear @keibravo18, I am writing to you in regards of your recently submitted character story, I have reviewed your character story and as a result, I come to the decision to PENDING your character story based on the following reasons: Font size : 14 and don't give excessive attributes (Bold, Italic or Underline) era. but New sentences usually begin with a capital letter. bouncer, He This word should not be capitalized unless it is a name or part of a title word form. 2007 which is Either use a comma before which or replace it with the word that. revenge but it You should use a comma before but if it introduces a complete clause. army but Ivan You should use a comma before but if it introduces a complete clause. everything what You should probably replace what with that, e.g.: I have everything that I need. Give 3 space in every paragraph. Delete words: Spoiler On 9/28/2021 at 12:51 PM, keibravo18 said: Name : Ivan_Kalasnikov Nation: Russian Story : I hope that you can correct the mistakes mentioned above so that I may approve your character story. Sincerely,@GulaGula JG:RP Helper Team
keibravo18 Posted September 30, 2021 Author Posted September 30, 2021 6 hours ago, GulaGula said: I hope that you can correct the mistakes mentioned above so that I may approve your character story. I have corrected my character story as you have told me, You can see my character story again if there are other mistakes, Please tell me I will improve my character story again.
$SilumanUlar$ Posted September 30, 2021 Posted September 30, 2021 Fix: Don't give excessive attributes (Bold, Italic or Underline) bouncer, He This word should not be capitalized unless it is a name or part of a title word form army But This word should not be capitalized unless it is a name or part of a title word form. everything That This word should not be capitalized unless it is a name or part of a title word form. Give 3 space in every paragraph.
keibravo18 Posted October 1, 2021 Author Posted October 1, 2021 19 hours ago, GulaGula said: Don't give excessive attributes (Bold, Italic or Underline) bouncer, He This word should not be capitalized unless it is a name or part of a title word form army But This word should not be capitalized unless it is a name or part of a title word form. everything That This word should not be capitalized unless it is a name or part of a title word form. Give 3 space in every paragraph. -Dont give excessive attributes i just fix it, -Then bouncer he? your means in the first commas He or She not use a capital letter in the first place right? -then army but (yeah i know this its should not using capital letter on the first letter) i has fix it. -everthing That (i just fix that with not capital letter) -give 3 space in every pharagraph??? (are you mean in every first pharagraph give it 3 space that you mean right?) I have corrected my character story as you have told me again, please tell me if there are other mistakes again, i really appreciate it.
$SilumanUlar$ Posted October 1, 2021 Posted October 1, 2021 Jogjagamers Reality Project Helper Team Character Story Dear @keibravo18, I am writing to you in regards of your recently submitted character story, we have reviewed your character story and, as a result, have come to the decision to ACCEPT your request. Please read this guide to activate your character story In-Game via our UCP Website. We hope that you may use this character story to further develop your character. Sincerely,@GulaGula JG:RP Helper Team
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