pending Nagita_Shiota [riyanspot48]

[$Mahiro Oyama$]

Nagita Shiota

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     Nagita Shiota was born on February 12, 2000, in Fukuoka, Japan. Her parents died in a big fire when she was 3 years old. At the age of her teens, she became a gal girl. Finally, because of this habit, she quits from her school and didn't continue to a higher level. As time goes by, Nagita worked as a commercial sex worker. One day at the work time, she got a customer which at the same time invited her to become a worse person. The costumer asked her to become a housemaid initially with a hefty salary for her. Without thinking, Nagita followed the man and took her to the United States of America, Los Santos. Initially, Nagita, who did not know anything, followed the direction of the costumer.

 

     It turns out that she has been deceived all along, Nagita will only be made into a private sex worker and will be sold at a high price. Without thinking, she hides from the people that chasing her because of urgency, Nagita managed to kill the person accidentally which made her escape. In Los Santos, instead of being prosperous, it was even more tormented. Plus she was a little addicted to drugs and made her fall into poverty and live a homeless life. A year in Los Santos, Nagita is being chased by American immigrants Officer and criminal organizations that used to want to sell her. Nagita is still trying to get the freedom that she wants until this time.

 

     Nagita thought that she was better off by the authorities than being chased by a criminal organization, so she finally surrendered herself to the Los Santos Police Department and spent 5 years in prison for the murder she committed while escaping from those who were chasing her. Five years passed and she was released from prison, but there is something strange about Nagita. She becomes a more brutal and temperamental person. She decides to kill and capture all those who framed her in the past. Nagita's footsteps finally started with anger and revenge.

 

 

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Questions

Character Story Pertama: No

Durasi bermain di JG:RP: 1 - 2 tahun

URL Namechange:

Account UCP yang saya miliki:
Tidak ada

 

Account Forum yang saya miliki:

 

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Saya Gurenge selaku pemilik account UCP riyanspot48 bersedia jika Character saya yang disebut di atas (Nagita_Shiota) dibanned permanent jika character story yang saya buat di atas berupa plagiat dari story milik orang lain.

[$Folium$]

Halo, saya Folium yang akan memeriksa Character Story kamu. Sebelumnya, saya ingin bertanya tentang beberapa hal.

• Apakah character yang kamu gunakan sudah mencapai level 3?
• Apakah kamu sudah memastikan bahwa Character Story kamu ini sudah berjumlah 300 kata?
• Sebutkan semua UCP yang kamu punya sejujur-jujurnya!
• Apakah kamu sudah baca ketentuan dari pembuatan Character Story dan siap menerima konsekuensinya jika melanggar?

Jangan bump Character Story kamu, cukup tunggu, periksa kembali, dan cek ulang kata-kata pada Character Stories yang sudah kamu buat.

[$Mahiro Oyama$]

My Answer :

1. Yes, of course.

2. Yes, you can check it by WordCounter.net

3. No, just this one and only one.

4. Yes, i agreed all rules, criterias, and consequence in Character Stories Information Center.

 

To you admin, Lov yu.

[$Folium$]

• Foto characternya masih belum muncul, masih harus klik link dulu baru keluar fotonya, tolong diperbaiki.

16 hours ago, Gurenge said:

His parents died in a big fire when he was 3 years old.

• Jika character kamu perempuan, harusnya bukan "His" atau "he", tetapi "Her" atau "she".
• Tolong perbaiki seluruh penulisan yang masih salah!

16 hours ago, Gurenge said:

finally surrendered himself

• Bukan "himself", tetapi "herself".

[$Mahiro Oyama$]

Edited, please tell me if still got wrong word or anything.

Gambar udah di add pake drag files jadi gak pake link lagi, kalo masih error gak tau dah napa.

[$Folium$]

• Tolong berikan jarak antara foto character kamu dengan garis hitam yang ada di paling atas, jangan terlalu berdekatan.
• Aplikasikan format Justify ( Rata Kanan-Kiri ) pada seluruh paragraf yang ada di Character Story kamu.
  • 
• Pilih pada format yang paling kanan untuk mengaplikasikan format tersebut.

[$Mahiro Oyama$]

Edited, please check it again.

[$Folium$]

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

she quit school and did not

• Ubah menjadi "she quits from her school and didn't".

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

One day at work she got a customer who

• Ubah menjadi "One day at the work time, she got a customer which".

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

invited him

• Her.

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

The person asked

• Kata "person" coba diganti menjadi "customer".

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

Without thinking she hide from the people who pursuit him but because of urgency

• Ubah menjadi "Without thinking, she hides from the people that chasing her because of urgency".

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

drugs and made him

• Her.

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

A year in Los Santos Nagita is being

• Tambahkan tanda koma sebelum kata "Nagita".

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

trying to get the freedom she has been waiting for until now

• Ubah menjadi "trying to get the freedom that she wants until this time".

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

he committed

• She.

On 9/6/2021 at 9:58 PM, Gurenge said:

were chasing him

• Her.

[$Mahiro Oyama$]

Fixed.

[$Folium$]

Approved.

[$Folium$]

Dear @Gurenge

 

I am writing to you in regards of your recently submitted Character Story, we have reviewed your Character Story, and we have come to the decision to ACCEPT your request.

 

Please read this guide to activate your Character Story In-Game via our UCP Website.

We hope that you may use this Character Story to further develop your character.

 

Sincerely,

 

@Folium
JG:RP Helper Team