jonathanbastian500 Posted November 2, 2020 Posted November 2, 2020 Nicholas Albern Nicholas Albern is a teenager born in America who was born on August 16, 1998. Nicholas Albern is the first child of Freddie Albern and Michaella Romaria. Since childhood, Nicholas was usually called Nico or Albern. Nicholas was born to a wealthy family and a luxurious environment. All of Nico's wishes would be fulfilled and obeyed by his parents. One day Nicholas's father was sick, Nicholas, who was still a little eight years old, didn't know anything and only saw his father go into the operating room. The next day, Nicholas's father reportedly passed away, Nicholas was sad and cried incessantly. After Nicholas became a teenager, Nicholas was appointed as his father's successor as boss of one of his father's companies. Nicholas performed very poorly and was inefficient, unlike his father, because Nicholas did not know how to work for large companies. And in the end, Nicholas's company went bankrupt and all the assets owned by the company had to be sold to cover the costs of outstanding debt. After Nicholas was accepted to working at Vincente's store, Nicholas was very happy and promised to work hard and very earnestly in carrying out his duties and orders from Vincente. Every day Vincente saw Nicholas's performance is very improved. Vincente plans to invite Nicholas to join his illegal business. One day, Vincente invited Nicholas to talk with him privately. Vincente invites Nicholas to his illegal business and Nicholas agrees to Vincente's invitation. On Nicholas's first day as an illegal arms dealer, Nicholas was assigned to sell a rifle in the Las Colinas area. Nicholas also managed to sell the weapon and was considered a member of Vincente's gangster. After five years Nicholas became Vincente's subordinate, now Nicholas's life is as a shot-caller and Vincente's right hand. After being accepted into the job, Nicholas was very happy and promised to work hard and very earnestly in carrying out his duties and orders from Vincente. Every day Vincente saw Nicholas's performance very well and improved. Vincente also plans to invite Nicholas to join his illegal business. On that day, Vincente invited Nicholas to talk with him privately. Vincente invites Nicholas to his illegal business and Nicholas agrees to Vincente's invitation. On Nicholas' first day as an illegal arms dealer, Nicholas was assigned to sell a rifle in the Las Colinas area. Nicholas also managed to sell the weapon and was considered a member of Vincente's gangster. After 5 years Nicholas became Vincente's subordinate, now Nicholas's life is as a shot-caller and right hand of Vincente. Questions Tujuan membuat character story: Agar roleplay saya di JG:RP berjalan. Account UCP yang saya miliki: Jonathanbastian500 Account Forum yang saya miliki:jonathanbastian500 Berapa lama saya sudah main di JGRP: Kurang dari 1 bulan Saya biasa main JGRP di: Hanya di rumah Saya jonathanbastian500 selaku pemilik account UCP Jonathanbastian500 bersedia jika Character saya yang disebut di atas (Nicholas Albern) dibanned permanent jika character story yang saya buat di atas berupa plagiat dari story milik orang lain.
jonathanbastian500 Posted November 2, 2020 Author Posted November 2, 2020 UCP: Hanya 1 (Jonathanbastian500) BERMAIN: Di rumah. LVL CHAR: 3 pas.
$huncho$ Posted November 4, 2020 Posted November 4, 2020 Hi, I've checked your writing and found some inconsistencies. The numeral in paragraphs two and four are used instead of the words spelled out. Consider spelling out the numbers. There is one word in the last paragraph that may not be correct. Correct your spelling. Correct the comma splice in each paragraph. Best of luck finishing up your character story! Cheers, Huncho
jonathanbastian500 Posted November 4, 2020 Author Posted November 4, 2020 (edited) 2 jam yang lalu, huncho said: Hi, I've checked your writing and found some inconsistencies. The numeral in paragraphs two and four are used instead of the words spelled out. Consider spelling out the numbers. There is one word in the last paragraph that may not be correct. Correct your spelling. Correct the comma splice in each paragraph. Best of luck finishing up your character story! Cheers, Huncho Edited, please check it again. Thank you. Edited November 4, 2020 by jonathanbastian500
$huncho$ Posted November 4, 2020 Posted November 4, 2020 To @jonathanbastian500I am writing to you in regards of your recently submitted character story, we have reviewed your character story and, as a result, have come to the decision to APPROVE your request. Please read the following guide to activate your link your store to your In-Game account: Sincerely,@hunchoJG:RP Staff Team.
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