Berko Posted October 29, 2020 Posted October 29, 2020 Frederick_Goudie My name is Frederick Goudie, I was born on January 15, 1995. My life was just normal at the age of 10 when I was just like any other kid, playing, hanging out with my family, and my father's school was the United Kingdom air force his name was Ezekiel and my mother was Goudie. I have a sister named Sasha Goudie. At the age of 16, my father reportedly died in the war of peace, by which time my life was ruined in all things. That's how I work in a shop with a salary of $120 a month. It wasn't, enough to support a family so, I worked as a janitor at a reputable company. There's a hefty salary of $1000 a month because it's among the richest companies in the world. My life changed at the age of 20. I planned to create my own company Goudie corporations where I opened a restaurant and developed a branch all over the United Kingdom, at which time my company was making a high profit because the recipes made by my sister were delicious. When my company was in its heyday my mother had a very severe illness then my mother was hospitalized, 1 year hospitalized my mother died. It made me and my sister feel down My company that closed due to not thinking about the company. Then my sister, and I lived hard to get back, working in a small shop with a small salary and eating cold food. Then my sister and Me decided to live with each other, my sister who lives in Japan and me who lives in America precisely in the city of Los Santos. My life in the city of Los Santos was very bad, gangsters everywhere Robbers all the way, but I found a friend when I was in the United Kingdom named Casemiro Benedicto he was Mexican, but he lived in the United Kingdom for a while because of family. He taught me about how to live there like making money to avoid robbers and others. When I was 5 months in the city then, I got a message from my sister who was in Japan, she said, she was going to marry one week later. Then I was surprised to inform him of an impromptu. Then I left for Japan but my sister's wedding was hit by the earthquake and tsunami, and my sister died. That's how I returned to the city of Los Santos sadly as I continued to live normally there. Questions Tujuan membuat character story: Untuk memperjelas latar belakang Account UCP yang saya miliki: Berko Account Forum yang saya miliki:Berko Berapa lama saya sudah main di JGRP: Kurang dari 1 bulan Saya biasa main JGRP di: Hanya di rumah Saya Berko selaku pemilik account UCP Berko bersedia jika Character saya yang disebut di atas (Frederick_Goudie) dibanned permanent jika character story yang saya buat di atas berupa plagiat dari story milik orang lain.
$huncho$ Posted October 29, 2020 Posted October 29, 2020 Hi, I've checked your writing, and I found some inconsistencies in your character story. It seems that you have miswritten words. Consider fixing it. There's a sentence that contains two fused sentences. Consider adding punctuation. It appears that you are missing commas in paragraph two. Consider adding commas in each sentence. The intensifier very modifies the weak adjective words. Consider replacing the phrase with a strong adjective to sharpen your writing. e.g. very beautiful = gorgeous. It seems that some articles use may be incorrect in paragraph three. The ellipsis in your sentence may not be necessary. Consider removing it. It seems that some words should not be capitalized. Consider rewriting it. Best of luck finishing up your character story! Cheers, Huncho
$huncho$ Posted November 1, 2020 Posted November 1, 2020 To @BerkoI am writing to you in regards of your recently submitted character story, we have reviewed your character story and, as a result, have come to the decision to APPROVE your request. Please read the following guide to activate your link your store to your In-Game account: Sincerely,@hunchoJG:RP Staff Team.
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